Friday, October 29, 2004


There was me, my brother, and a person who has requested that his name not be used, wink wink. I won't say how but on a beautiful summer afternoon, He showed up at my door after climbing trees all day, with a credit card. At first I tried to talk him out of using it, but between he and my bro, temptation got the better of me and I threw in with these fools once again. After putting our heads together we decided to run a test and sent my brother to the store with card in hand, he chickened out and came back empty handed. Well he explained he had never done anything like this before and got nervous, with a little coaxing from he and I, we convinced him to go back. This time he went to a different store and with a little flirting with the little blond clerk, he returned with two handles of tequila and three cartons of cigarettes, which we proceeded to consume.

Now one handle is 1.75 liters of alcohol, so with two it wasn't long before there were three very shitfaced idiots. By this time it was time for dinner and we lit out for the Brewery for pizza and several pitchers of Bad Ass Ale I came up with a brilliant idea.

I had not lived in Tahoe for too long back then and was right next to the stateline Nevada, Nevada has legalized prostitution, we had a apparently limitless card, we called the Moonlight Bunny Ranch, and they sent a car from Carson to pick us up. In the mean time I had noticed that our friend was very smelly, dirty, and covered in sawdust. I told him to go jump in the shower, and was told they are just hookers so don't worry. I replied that I was told once to "Treat a whore like a Lady, and treat a Lady like a whore" if you expect any action.

Well the guy rolled up and off we went.

We arrived at the Bunny Ranch (which is world famous for the talent within) at about 1am and went inside, I picked the tallest redhead in the joint and went back to her room to take care of what needed to be taken care of if you know what I mean...when my hour was up I went out to the bar (in Nevada you can drink at 5am if you want) and there he was sitting at the bar by himself. As I saddled up next to him I overheard this absolutely stunning blonde walk up and say "You are a very handsome man! But you smell, and you are filthy, and you are full of sawdust. And none of the girls want anything to do with you". Well a few minutes later my younger brother strolls back into the bar with a definite smile of satisfaction on his face, and after one more round (one of us was cut off at this point, can you guess who?) and off we were, chauffeured home, as the sun peeped over the mountains, waking up the Carson Valley.

Once again I swear this is all true. And he is the only man I have ever heard of that went to a whore house, and didn't get laid.
P.S. And we never got caught!

1 comment:

  1. Purrrrrrrrrrrrfect...
    I'll be telling that story for years!